Rebellion
by Gavin Gunhold
Summary: Everything, in order. More or less. From Jon's POV.


Rebellion (Lies)

Jon was never a rebellious child. As people were constantly reminding him, he had everything a little boy could want – he had been introduced to children on the Ride who did not, and was immensely grateful to have his toys and his books and his pets. His parents and his nurse taught him to be responsible and respectable in front of the court, but otherwise didn't hem him in. In short, he was a very good, polite boy. He spent most of his free time with his pony – the one his cousin, Roger (who was a Duke, and a Mage and the all-around awesomest person ever) taught him to ride. When he grew up, he wanted to be a stable-master, as it seemed like the best job in the world. Jon knew, vaguely, that he had to be King, but that meant he could do whatever he liked, so he knew he could work something out.

o-o-o-o-o

Jon has long since woken up and realized that being Head Hostler is an unreasonable dream. He is a page and has friends that respect him for who he is and not simply for his title. He meets Alan of Trebond, who loves chivalry more than his own soul and whose moral code is so rigid that he could wear it as armour. Jon can't help but find him fascinating – especially considering the company he keeps with the Rogue and his court. He pokes at Alan's reasoning delicately, but Alan always has another way in which 'good' and 'evil' are inherently separate.

Roger comes home, and if Alan's lack of a response to his charming cousin worries Jon for a second, he puts it out of mind. Jon and Roger both attend many political functions and councils (many more than usual, for Jon). At one such council, Jon catches the expression on Roger's face; he's grimacing. Jon immediately starts listening again to what his father's talking about: maintaining peace at whatever cost. Roger sees his cousin staring and smiles, although his eyes remain hard. Jon looks away.

After the meeting, Jon corners Roger and asks why he was making faces. His cousin smiles benevolently and says "Was I?"

Doesn't Roger want peace? Jon wants to know.

Roger sighs. It seems it's not that easy. "I don't want to malign your father, but …", and then, in one go, makes Jon question everything his father has ever taught him about how to run a country and life in general.

Later that night, torn by how to rule the country that is not yet his to rule and overwhelmed by this weight, Jon confronts his father and has an argument. He learns that his father is peaceable only until opposed, and then he clings stubbornly to his views.

Afterwards, he mentions something of it to Alan, who tells him that in the Code of Chivalry, knights fight to protect people in need, but are otherwise gentle creatures. Jon knows the Code already, but this reminder serves him with a middle ground between his father's passivism and his cousin's call for radical change.

That night, he even manages to sleep.

o-o-o-o-o

Alan turns into Alanna in the Black City. It is shocking, and yet Jonathan admires her even more for it. He is impressed with her for keeping her secret; for having the guts to make the change in the first place. Her act of rebellion against 'the system', is Jon's now too. He is most pleased when she agrees to be his squire.

o-o-o-o-o

Jon is a teenager, and his life is a mess.

He is in love, but too afraid to push his relationship with Alanna just so he can get laid. Instead, he finds himself a court lady – the problem, of course, being that all court ladies are very concerned with their virtue. Slighting it isn't very difficult, but is most always frowned upon. To his surprise, although Jon wishes Delia would stop being coy and just get on with it, he does enjoy her company. She is different and new – with a rebellious streak underneath that reminds Jon of himself.

Jon spends the rest of his time trying to learn how to become King, and alternatively, how to dodge his responsibilities. Knowing George Cooper helps immensely with both the former and the latter. The fits of jealousy he feels whenever he sees George looking at Alanna even help Jon to get over his fear of Alanna's rejection and profess his love for her.

Or perhaps he finally tells her because of the war.

o-o-o-o-o

They say war changes a man, and they are right. Alanna saves Jon's life, Jon saves Alanna's. Jon finally feels strongly enough for someone and something – strongly enough _against_ his father's wishes – that he disobeys his father's direct orders. He commits high treason,and yeteverything turns out for the best. He is elated; high on adrenaline, feeling as though he has finally acted like a King for the first time in his life. Nothing disparaging his father says to him actually gets through to him, and he takes away from the berating-session the sense that his father, his King, is likely to be wrong about everything else as well.

o-o-o-o-o

Jon's mind is in turmoil, once again, when his perfect cousin is proven guilty of treason by his best friend and lover. He is angry, hurt, betrayed, disgusted andconfused, but mostly just saddened. This man, who he has worshipped as god-worthy for his entire life, who he had always thought would be around to give advice and lend strength, has plotted against his friends and his family. And while Jon knew that Roger would have made a good King – probably better than any attempt Jon would make – he was stunned. The Duke must hate them. Hate him. Every conversation he has ever had with Roger replays in his mind and he sees it all from beyond the slippery haze of magic cast upon him by way of a little wax doll. Jon makes his choice and puts his trust in Alanna, who has brought them this far.

o-o-o-o-o

Alanna goes South for the winter and leaves Jon alone in the court. His father is grim and haunted, his mother always weak. Gary is busy, Raoul is morose – never knowing what to say – and Jon no longer trusts Alex. His courtiers suck up to him and somehow he doesn't think Alanna would appreciate it if he took another lover to work off some frustration. There is no one to challenge him and tell him he's wrong. Lacking in confidence, if not arrogance – this scares Jon more than anything.

George helps, yet again (Jon thinks he will never begin to repay his debts to the man), by teaching him knife-fighting. Apart from these all too brief moments, however, Jon is angry, confined and ready to explode at the least thing. He snaps at Sir Myles, who sighs at him and suggests a trip to visit Alanna and Ali Mukhtab, who would like to see him regarding The Voice. Intrigued, Jon agrees. Being the leader of the Bazhir tribes will help to unify his country if it works. If it doesn't…. Jon is feeling reckless. He wants to do something useful, not sit around doing nothing – even if a small, bitter part of him is saying that his people aren't particularly deserving of this sacrifice.

Jon buys a ring before he leaves. He needs Alanna in Corus with him; Court is unbearable without her, and he wants her as his wife – his Queen – to ease his burden the way she always has (he also wants George to stay far, far away from her, and a engagement band seems a good way to help the Rogue move on). He never dreams that she would say no.

o-o-o-o-o

Jon's cousin comes back from the Black God's realm, and in return Jon loses his parents. It's an odd trade, and not one Jon would have conceded to had he known. No one knows the legal ramifications of bringing a traitor back from the dead, so since Roger appears 'harmless', he is allowed to live, observed only by Alanna's twin. Jon doesn't quite avoid him.

He is acting ruler of Tortall, King in all but name and it is not as bad as he thought it would be, and yet, so much worse. He uses the lessons learned from being the Voice, remembers what his father taught him and relies on George's experience and the expertise of his staff. Once, Roger catches him implementing one of Roger's own ideas and is amused. "That was well done, cousin" - his eyes crinkle at the corners and his smile is all sincerity. Jon excuses himself abruptly and sends a page ahead of him to the stables with orders to saddle his horse. He gallops off and doesn't return until nightfall – both horse and rider are somewhat worse for wear.

o-o-o-o-o

Alanna returns to Corus for the coronation. Jon is so glad to see her, no matter whether she's in love with George or the Shang Dragon or not. She brings the Dominion Jewel back with her, from the place of fairytales and establishes her allegiance to the crown. He is sad, in a way that they've both moved on from the people they were.He offers Alanna marriage, but doesn't expect her to accept this time either.

And then Jon meets Thayet and falls in love all over again.

o-o-o-o-o

The coronation. As much as itwas the disaster waiting to happen ever since his cousin came back to Tortall (or perhaps much sooner – Jon never knew when Roger started his plotting), it was also the release to all the tension surrounding the throne. He finally feels as though he can stop countering against inside attacks and just get on with building and shaping his country. He doesn't even mind dealing with his ingratiating courtiers. Much.

And every so often, when things get to be too much – when his country weighs heavily on his back, or Thayet is angry at him and Alanna refuses to talk to him – Jon takes on another squire. But not just another squire. Although he only picks excellent swordsmen – usually ones with an aptitude for magecraft – he also picks the most controversial candidate he can find. Among these are Zahir, the Bazhir tribesman, the (illegitimate, poor excuse for an) heir to the Tirragen title, and a girl. There is a certain satisfaction Jon takes in rebelling against the confines of his position by pushing the norms of his culture.

Besides, appointing himself a notorious squire is nearly tradition, and Jon wouldn't want to disappoint.

o-o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o

_Notes:_

_Jon finds it most amusing that of all the squires he's chosen to serve him, he's received the least amount of backlash for the appointment of one Alan of Trebond. Until, of course, Alan rather dramatically became a sorcerer-duke slaying knight and had a sex change all in one days' work. Afterwards, his critics more than made up for their prior lack of commentary._

_I have back-story for the Tirragen heir. It's all in my head._

_Jon's only other female squire after Alanna was a rather large error on his part. He did not discuss his decision with Thayet in advance and she was annoyed, to put it lightly. The rest of his family weren't entirely impressed either, nor his circle of close friends. As he was already bombarded from all sides by lectures, guilt, and flying vases, his council didn't even need to say anything on the matter, so of course they clamoured the loudest. He insisted he had no claims on her virtue, but in the end the girl injured his pride by declining, saying she was honoured, but had already accepted the generous offer of Keladry of Mindelan. Who would definitely have no claim on her virtue. Score another point to The-Woman-Who-Refuses-To-Be-Impressed-In-Any-Way-By-Her-King._

_Title courtesy The Arcade Fire. This isn't really a song-fic, so I'm not posting the lyrics (consider yourself encouraged to look them up!). I hadn't actually thought about them until I named this thing, but they kind-of fit, in an odd way._

_Sally._


End file.
